paper and silk

I am suffering through some serious inadequacy issues here. The first round of Trace is done, and I got four crits on it this weekend, two from people I respect and two from people I like (note the distinction). Three of them really, really liked it—their only complaint was not knowing what Sabine wanted with the box. The fourth, whom I probably respect more than any of the others, basically indicated the thing wasn’t done yet.

I consider myself pretty thick-skinned when it comes to criticism. Today I am wondering if I’m so thick-skinned that the criticism doesn’t even reach me. This is not a recipe for growth and improvement. And it's funny; when people say the story doesn't need anything, I think they must be weak-minded fools or cowards. If someone claims the story still needs work, my knee-jerk reaction is to assume they didn't get it. Isn't humility supposed to come with age? Or is it just that I haven't been challenged for so long?

I dunno. The whole weekend was an emotional roller-coaster; Saturday I’m thinking the story’s done except for some minor tweaking, Sunday I’m shredding my heart because I'll have to take it completely apart. Today my attitude falls somewhere in between--I’m thinking in terms of adding highlights and shadows, changing the focus, bringing certain elements to the front and coloring the emotions brighter. And since I’m past the ten thousand mark anyway, I may add another scene or two--in for a penny, in for a pound. But we’ll see.

In other news, I completed ten crits this week, so I can bump Sikeston to next week’s Critters batch. I did six crits in about 18 hrs, and my brain was tapioca this morning. I still have Joy's story to do. Fortunately her prose is easier on the stomach.

Also, Tony’s brick red silk noil arrived via UPS yesterday—I love UPS. They have never failed to get a package to me, which is more than I can say for the U.S. Postal Service. Can you say "privitization," kids? I knew you could.

The silk is dark and handsome. I may tint it a shade browner, but I’ll consult my client first. (Oh, I forgot: Tony was my fifth crit on Sikeston--he loved it, too.) So I’m going to let Sikeston sit for the next ten days or so until the Critters start on it, and in the meantime, I’ll sew.

I’m really looking forward to using that black silk. I know it’s going to ravel like a bitch, but I’m ready for her. My jacket’s not going to be a traditional design; instead I’m thinking of something like this.