Wednesday, September 24, 2008

getting soft

My husband made a remark the other night about us "living soft" of late, which is certainly true. I've been sewing constantly, and so we've been eating a lot of carryout food. Even though we choose the best of what is available, it's still too starchy and lacking in nutrients, and we eat too much of it because it's plentiful and easy.

I've been a little better this week about getting in some tai chi practice every day, partly because I'm stiff and partly because I'm weary of the constant drive to sew and want to resume my better habits. My body feels soft and heavy.

Also I think the tunnel-vision is affecting my mind's alertness. Last night I had a couple of alarming mini-dreams.

In the first one, I dreamed that the new mattress I bought arrived on Friday, as scheduled, but it was alarmingly thing and cheap. "This isn't the one I ordered," I protested, but the delivery guys insisted it was.

The second dream was more alarming. I was being menaced by some thug, and although I had a gun with me, it jammed and wouldn't fire--repeatedly. I pulled the trigger four times but it didn't fire. I went to rack back the slide and the guy was on me, so I hit him with it. I think I jerked myself awake with the dramatic movement, but the sense of frustration and fear stays with me.

Clearly I need to start training again.

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