You wanna know something weird?
I find myself missing the Tai Chi Legacy Tournament. It should've been coming up next week, but as I mentioned earlier in the year, it got cancelled due to venue-reservation problems.
I've only been twice, for crying out loud. But I keep thinking of the hotel, the feel of the Plano traffic, the noise and space of the tournament floor, the vast Texas landscape.
In many ways I'm glad we're not going this year, because I have other things to spend the money on, not to mention a whole heap of sewing to do, and I like having the year off to practice and improve.
I am improving, I think. Maybe not visibly, but my mind is changing. I am not accepting that things are correct just because I've been doing them that way for nine years. Sit made the point last night that you can be doing the form correctly and still not be doing it "right"--i.e. you may have learnt how to mimic the cosmetic appearance of good form but that doesn't mean you're using tai chi principles of relaxation and moving from the body.
We are doing the Kansas City Ethnic Festival again this year. Tony and I are doing the fan form, to music; the boys are doing first kung fu form. Sit will probably do tai hui form but he always decides at the last minute. I am looking forward to that, that will only take an afternoon and take of some of the competition edge, but I'm still thinking longingly of Plano, the cool air-conditioned hotel, the smell of chlorine, the anticipation of competition. Even the long drive down with the SP.
Maybe I just need a vacation.