Monday, July 18, 2011

resolving issues

Last night I had an interesting dream.

Since I was laid off in February, I've had several dreams about being back in my cubicle, not knowing how I got there, but thinking, knowing, somehow I was not *supposed* to be there. It was a similar thing when I got remarried; I dreamt of being in the old apartment with my ex, and knowing somehow that that was NOT my life, I was supposed to be with a better man in a better place.

But in this latest dream, I was visiting the place of my own free will. I had my toys around me--white leather tote, laptop, sewing tools--and I was NOT in my old cubicle, I was in a vacant one further up the row. I was there to visit. I shook the hand of my old supervisor, told him he was a good guy. I told my coworkers I was glad to see them. I met the new girl. She had blue-green hair.

Then there was an interruption. At the other end of the room, some unpleasant coworkers from another department were having a loud party, complete with boom box and mirrorball lightshow.

"How can you stand that?" I said to Adriane.

"I know," she replied with a grimace. "They do that constantly."

"I'll take care of it," I said, and I marched over there and yanked the plug on the stereo.

The rude coworkers started yelling in protest, and when I told them they were being inconsiderate, some slunk away looking guilty, but a tall, red-haired guy, a bit younger than me (who did not, in fact, resemble anyone I know in real life) got up and started taunting me.

He told me it was none of my business. He told me to get lost or I'd be sorry. I told him he was an immature boor. He threatened my job. I said I didn't work there. He said his father was very powerful and could take away my parents' house. I laughed and said, "There's nothing you can threaten me with."

So he threw a couple of punches at my head. I evaded them easily. He threw a roundhouse kick at my head. I caught his leg, ducked under it, and was debating whether to punch him in the groin or kick out his knee when I woke up.

Maybe all this stepped-up kung fu training is starting to sink in, because this is the first dream in which I remember actually being confident of my abilities.

But it was five a.m., and the cat wanted breakfast. I got up, fed him, went into the bathroom, and the thought surfaced as I was washing my face: I think I just defeated all my lingering fears.

I went out this morning and got a haircut and a light auburn gloss put on. I look pretty darn cute.

1 comment:

Freyalyn said...

Fabulous! It's good to feel strong/