Tuesday, September 06, 2005


I take out my contacts to sleep at night. This morning I got into the shower, blind, groggy, stuck my head under the hot water. Steamed, soaped, breathed, got my eyes open. Glanced down and see a massive black thing moving in the corner of the shower stall, twelve inches from my right foot.

Friends, I am so myopic that I literally cannot read my nightstand clock from two feet away. I knew that anything I could see at that distance without my lenses in had to be on the scale of a 50's-monster-flick beastie.

Did I mention, we have a small problem with spiders in our apartment?

Generally I am pretty brave about wildlife, when I am not naked, defenseless and blind. I backed out of the shower while the black thing scrambled from one corner to the other--very fast. I grabbed an empty shampoo bottle and whacked it. It stopped moving. I whacked it again--crunch. Ick. Threw the bottle down (water still running, streaming off me and my soaking hair and the shower door onto the floor). Put in contact lenses. Grabbed a wad of tissues and swept up a black hairy arachnid with the leg span of a golf ball, and flushed it. Ew. Ew. Ew.

I always feel slightly guilty about killing spiders. They're very cool creatures, and of course they eat other nasty things. But they tend to bite me. Mosquitoes, flies, ticks... these things do not like the way I taste. Spiders do. My husband says they're siphoning venom off me, ha ha. But I feel guilty nevertheless. Especially one that size. I couldn't help but think it was an inauspicious way to start the morning.

I was right.

My car died on the way to work. Fairly sure it's the alternator. Pulled off the highway, sputtering and gasping, into the parking lot of a lovely liquor store with bars on the windows. The kind of place you visualize in movie adaptations of "The Stand" or "I am Legion." Called Scott, who came to retrieve me and take me to work. Spent that C-note I had managed to save this month on the tow truck. Got into work 1 1/2 hours late, when I had purposefully left early, to get here early, to put in some overtime to get this motorcycle manual out in a timely fashion. I have been approved to do overtime on this project; looks like that money will come in handy.

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